Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business.

— Rachel Hollis

So here it is, the start of my blogging journey…

I’m not sure what to say here. I’m not sure what the future will hold for this blog.

I’m not sure what the future will hold for me!

What I am sure of however is that I’ve been through one hell of an ordeal these past 2 years (and continue to deal with it if I’m being honest)

I want to document my thoughts and feelings somewhere. So I’m starting a blog. Not entirely my idea, it was suggested by my CBT counselor who I have been meeting with for almost a year now. I tried starting a vlog, but I haven’t been able to make time for that. I do however spend some time in bed each night on my phone, so I’ve decided that instead of scrolling mindlessly through social media, I would make time for me.

My aim as I write this is to write down some experiences from my life. If it helps someone else that’s struggling with something similar, that’s amazing and I’m so glad to be able to help others. But mostly this is for me.

I spent the last 2 years struggling. Struggling harder than I knew was possible. See, I’m a “tough cookie” I’ve “got my shit together” or at least that’s the appearance i show off to the world.

As a matter of a fact, I am a 31 year old mum, wife and home owner with a good career, nice car and 2 dogs.

But if I dig deeper, I’m a trauma/abuse survivor with an anxiety disorder, who takes medication and attends counselling. I have learned all this about myself very recently, because after giving birth to my beautiful son, I suffered from Postnatal depression and this triggered PTSD (which I didn’t even know I had) from childhood trauma and abuse I suffered as a 9year old child (21years prior).

I have been on a journey, that at times, I didn’t know if I would ever return from. And although I’m not quite home yet, I’ve learned some things about myself and what I am capable of, so i want to document it for me. So when i inevitabley have a fall along the way or find I’m straying too far from the neighbourhood, I can find my way back home again.

This is my journey, you are welcome to join me along the way. It wont be an easy read. And not just because of my dyslexia, but because of the personal nature of some of the posts (I hope to share in future).

I’m going to remind myself of the quote above each time I write however. Because, like most of us, i do struggle with criticism and i worry what sharing some of my deepest thoughts on the internet could lead to. But i must remember, others opinions of me are none of my business, i just need to make sure that i am happy with the person i am/am working on being.