Me time

So, I made a realisation recently when listening to a new audio book (Girl – Stop Apologising by Rachel Hollis).

I realised that “me time” isn’t about getting time alone to unwind, watch youtube etc. Me time should be time that I actively set aside to better myself.

This is a weird concept in some ways, yet in others its totally obvious.

As a kid, the majority of my day was spent in school, learning and bettering myself. Now as an adult, this time is replaced with a means to earn ££££.

This left the weekends and evenings as the time I had to better myself.

As time passed, this time was taken up with bigger and bigger tasks like buying our first home, side gigs (I fancied myself as an entrepreneur for a time).

Then these projects got bigger. Planning our wedding, planning our new home, planning our honeymoon, planning our family…

Yet here I am, at 31, with my dream house, my dream husband, my dream kid in a great job, and I’ve been feeling so lost.

I’ve spent so much time working on these amazing projects, I haven’t made time for me.

I’ve put so much of myself into these projects, now they’re basically complete, I’m feeling drained, like I’ve nothing left.

I realised that I was sacrificing my health, my finances, my head space, my down time, my future… all for these projects. That now they’re finally here, I’ve forgotten what I did before them.

These “self help” books have helped me realise that I need to set new goals.

I’m so excited to sit down with a note pad and pen and draw out spider diagrams for all the aspects of my life.

– My health & fitness goals

– my career goals

– my family goals

-my financial goals

-my garden goals

Once I’ve set these goals and can visualise them, then comes the meat to go on the bones (as a vegetarian I wish I could think of a different analogy). The meat are the actions I will be taking to see these goals through.

To get healthier so as I don’t struggle as much during another pregnancy, I’ll need to exercise, so what does that look like?

To further my career so I’m not returning from another maternity break to the same old repetitive job, I’m going to develop my skills & network more.

My family goals, we would love 1 more kid. Our current one is too adorable to stop at 1. But this links in with the points above, and also the financial one.

Our finances are, well, a lot right now. Having doubled our property value in 4 years and still feeling like we aren’t finished, having a loan still to pay on our wedding and childcare costs eating up 75% of my wage. It would be amazing to clear all loans and credit cards in the next few years so as we can afford family activities and holidays in the future. In the meantime, our house is so freaking awesome, we can make do with staycations for now.

Our garden is a bit of a priority. Having been an overgrown jungle, come builders dumping ground/dog bathroom. It’s safe to say that neither me or my husband have very green thumbs. However, now we have a 2yo monkey for a son, were keen to have some outside space for us to utilise come summer. So it’s up there on the to do list. I have so many ideas (Pinterest has much to answer for) and now is the time to make it a reality on as cheap a budget as we can afford.

It’s so empowering writing these down. And what’s even better, is making it happen. To do this it takes planning. For this, I need to go with what has worked for me in the past. In work I keep a calendar and take time at the start of each week to make a plan. So I will do this each week for my “me time”.

There is a general rule of thumb that you should make 5h a week to make your goal happen. As mine are many and span different lengthens of time, I will work to balance this time each week. It won’t always be easy and I will make mistakes but I will learn from them!

It’s time to put the toddler boots on, try something new, grow myself as an individual, strive toward a new future and when I inevitabley fall flat on my face, get up, dust off and try again.